The Cletwr Big Build Blog

What's Occurin'?

Month: January 2017

It’ll be Yuuuuge!

Jenga on steroids

The lads are really taking their Jenga preparations seriously. Not content with the smaller concrete blocks, they’ve just taken delivery of their practice blocks for the next round of the competition…

I’m assuming they only practice during coffee breaks – the rest of the time they’re busy filling in trenches and putting down the base for the concrete floor slab. Moving fast…

Now that the footings are in you can see how the different bits will fit together: it looks quite small, but I’m assured it will feel a lot bigger once we move in.

And a new feature of the blog – classified adverts. This week – for sale

For Sale: 30 T-54s – very cheap

These were bought on ebay from a nice bloke called Vlad, who led me to believe that what I was getting was a regiment of ex-Red Army T-54 tanks (that’ll keep the Gwynedd hordes at bay). In fact they were model T Trabant cars (made from papier-mache) dating from 1954.

No reasonable offer refused – contact the shop for details and a test drive (if we can get them to start – the engines appear to be missing)

Congratulations!

…and celebrations, when I tell everyone that you’re in love with me…

(and if you can remember when that one came out I pity you and suggest it’s high time you considered retiring. But when you’ve retired there are excellent volunteering opportunities at Cletwr – phone 832113 for details)

Those of you who follow the exciting, informative and useful Cletwr Stalkerbook account will have seen a recent post by our Senior Vice-President in charge of online marketing, social media, ‘n’ similar stuff, to the effect that she suspects that our builders are playing Jenga.

She suspects right. And not for fun either. We have to congratulate the skilled team that is Davies and Evans on reaching the quarter finals of the European Building Federation’s Extreme Jenga knock-out competition, having beaten a strong team from an amazingly-long-established team of builders in Salisbury who have many years (nay, millenia) experience playing at their practice ground on the nearby Plain (but using Welsh stones I hasten to add). In their next game they will meet either a team from Athens or from Poland (currently working on site in Essex, to get acclimatised to the British weather). Get down to Ladbrokes now.

Work proceeds apace, as the photos show. Next big date is in about three weeks when Ikea are due to deliver the timber frame kit (fully complete and ready to assemble, except for an extra part B3 instead of a B7, and 3 missing bolts No. 13. Instructions in pictures on one sheet of A4)

Lots of discussions and decisions about some of the details – colours of the window frames etc. It’s going to look great!

Someone commented on the aforementioned Stalkerbook post with a suggestion that the foundations look like a maze. Wrong. They’re actually laying the foundations so that they will be visible through the glass floor of the new building, and will be painted to form a large-scale map of the central London transport system so we can play Mornington Crescent when we get bored.

I was looking at the building works this morning and I’m getting ever so slightly worried that we may have made a mistake on the plans for the walls. 12″ high does mean 12 feet, doesn’t it?

And for those of you who have expressed concern that I may be getting a little paranoid (and I know who you are) I can assure you I’m not. The last week has been blissfully quiet, no whispering, no little cliques muttering together in the carpark, in fact the plotters seem to have completely and mysteriously vanished. [Isn’t it handy when someone is pouring lots of wet concrete nearby. Hope the Building Inspector doesn’t check the foundations too closely.]

 

¡Olé!

(he has made an ‘ole)

Yes, after several years of planning and fund-raising, the big day has come. Thunderbirds are go. Work on our glorious new palace of the people started on Tuesday 3rd January. The noble team from Davies and Evans moved in and things are moving fast. As an aside, we expect cafe turnover from the sale of bacon butties and our excellent Meat Feast Breakfasts (available 9.30-2.30) to increase considerably over the coming months.

People are now asking “When will it be finished?”. I dunno, some people will never be satisfied. “Are we nearly there yet?” Remember, Grasshopper, the longest journey begins with a single step. The journey should be savoured. Tourists worry about the destination, true travellers enjoy every minute of the process, marvelling at the varied vistas that unroll along the road.

Come on, cut to the mustard! (excellent Toloja mustard available in the shop, remember) When WILL it be finished? Don’t ask me! How should I know? If I could see six months into the future I’d be lying on a sunny beach somewhere, spending my Lottery winnings.

Go on, give us a hint… Oh all right, if things go according to plan, the main building should be ready about September. We’ll then move in some time in October, when we’re quiet. The intention is that we’ll stay open throughout the process, although we’ll probably have to shut the kitchen for a few days while equipment is moved over – we’ll still do our excellent coffee and home-made cakes, but no sarnies or hot food. The existing building will then be demolished in November and the space re-developed as car-parking. So, apart from some minor landscaping work it’ll all be over by Christmas. (I seem to remember someone said that in 1914, and four years later…)

And thinking of car-parking: obviously we’ve lost quite a few parking spaces. There are still nine spaces at the side of the building, which are reserved for customers. Please be careful when entering or leaving – we have a mirror on order to reduce the risk of collisions at the corner.

The state of progress can be seen in the photo above. As you can see, the main activity to date has been the delivery and installation of a large hole where the petrol station used to be. We were very lucky to be able to commission the Welsh subsidiary of a world-leading hole manufacturer to prepare this hole for us. The parent company, based in Shropshire, were pioneers in the use of metal in the manufacture of industrial and domestic holes. Everyone in Wales is familiar with the All-English Tin Hole Manufacturing Company Ltd. In the past they have worked with a major British maker of minted confectionary, as well as the state government of Arizona in the Colorado pond redevelopment project (now the Grand Canyon).

Oh yes, and you can just see the entrance to my command bunker just to the right of Thunderbird 7. The emergency escape tunnel will lead from there up to a deserted lead mine in the hills, from where I can command our forces in the event of a hostile attack by the evil inhabitants of Meirioneth with their crazed plans for Mid-Welsh domination.

I think that’s all the news for this week – exciting isn’t it! We’ll keep publishing progress reports and photos, but remember, we’re staying open, so come on in and spend, spend, spend. (We have some jolly good deals on remaindered Christmas goodies at the moment)

[and don’t think I’ve forgotten about the whispering…you may have tried to be clever, but I still see your little cliques muttering together out in the car park, dressed as “builders”.  And don’t think that disguising yourselves as five-year-olds playing with the big jigsaw will help…I have eyes and ears everywhere…]

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